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Recent Entries Kill Bill: Volume 1
Underworld
Cold Creek Manor
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Cabin Fever
Jeepers Creepers 2
Freaky Friday

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March 08, 2004

KILL BILL: VOLUME 1
Posted by Michael at 10:58 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Great) 4 out of 5 score.
Kill Bill: Volume 1

This movie was just awesome. Unfortunately, since it is broken up into two seperate volumes, I do not think Volume 1 stands alone as a Best of the Best film. Such an honor is reserved for truely remarkable films. Those that stand on their own and stand up to the test of time.

Everyone is looking forward to Kill Bill Volume 2, perhaps an extended review of the plot and characters to follow that release. A must-have for any DVD collection. I'll buy it when they release it as a Two-Volume Special Edition set.


UNDERWORLD
Posted by Michael at 10:52 PM | Comments (1) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
Underworld

This was a fun movie. Lot of action, quite a bit of violence. Lead actress, Kate Beckinsale, was quite nice. I think the amazon.com review said it best by describing the film as a "cuisinart movie (blend a lot of familiar ideas and hope something interesting happens)" -- who could argue with the accuracy of that review.

This film was basically Blade 3, but with a female. Blade 4 is actually set to be released in the next year or so. How original. I'll go ahead and get all prophetic by saying I believe the film will involve Wes Snipes killing vampires with a big sword and some guns. We'll see.


COLD CREEK MANOR
Posted by Michael at 10:42 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Cold Creek Manor

Pretty slow. Saw it quite awhile ago and found myself reading a synopsis soley to help me recall this sorry excuse for a movie. Sharon Stone spreading her legs wouldn't have done much for this movie, but it would have helped -- slightly.

There was some character development, but not much. Skip it.

Feel free to add your own review via comments.


ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO
Posted by Michael at 10:29 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Great) 4 out of 5 score.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico

This movie had a lot of style and a decent plot. Johnny Depp successfully takes over the screen with an over-the-top and often comical character.

The amazon.com link brings you to a special-combo DVD set that includes this film as well as Desperado -- which ties into this plotline. It is in my wishlist, too. Great for any DVD collection. Don't miss out on this one.


CABIN FEVER
Posted by Michael at 10:23 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
Cabin Fever

This movie was O.K. just because it was basically bad. Imagine Boy Meets World kid meets flesh-eating virus. Unique. Catch it on digital cable, might be worth a few laughs.

Feel free to add your own review via comments.


JEEPERS CREEPERS 2
Posted by Michael at 10:18 PM | Comments (1) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
Jeepers Creepers 2

Not exceptionally scary. Fun, though.

Feel free to add your own review via comments.


FREAKY FRIDAY
Posted by Michael at 10:12 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Freaky Friday

This is when movie studios just recycle old plots with different characters in a new year for a different target generation. Pathetic. Thank god I didn't watch the whole film. Luckily no one paid for it, either. Avoid at all costs.

It doesn't deserve to be the lowest rank though, that is to be reserved for truely horrible films. Plus, Lindsay Lohan isn't that bad to look at. Only permissible during very short intervals when it comes to a film this bad, though.


March 07, 2004

ELEPHANT
Posted by Michael at 11:12 PM | Comments (1) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Elephant

This film had a very limited release. Not suprised.

Seems to be a re-telling or based upon the events of Columbine. Be prepared to laugh at what the film-makers created to re-enact the two boys playing "shooting games" on their laptop. Most horrible graphics ever seen on a screen. How pathetic. Everyone knows you are supposed to be shooting people online in style -- Counter-Strike at the very least.


TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
Posted by Michael at 11:04 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre

For some reason this film felt slow at certain points. It was pretty decent and Jessica Biel was fun. Nothing too special, though. Sometimes you should leave good enough alone.

Feel free to add your own review via comments.


September 05, 2003

THE ORDER
Posted by Michael at 05:17 PM | Comments (3) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
The Order

This movie would have been great if it had thrown in a bit more action. Perhaps even just a few more guns ... anything action-orientated. I think it was great to catch this film in a theater, as it helped make it feel more action packed, since it lacked in that department. I'll update this with an amazon.com link as soon as it is released on DVD as I will add it to my personal collection.

The premise of the film was great, the plot was deep enough to keep interest, and delving into a bit of philosophical candy was a tasty treat. I am left pondering if the dialog script writers even knew what they were having the cast say when it came to things regarding the origin of truth and the role of love and beauty in exsistance itself. The secret of the universe is a difficult, but paradoxically simple, understanding to grasp.


DICKIE ROBERTS
Posted by Michael at 05:09 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Dickie Roberts: Former Childhood Star

I would rate this movie as one of the worst I've seen -- but I just had to give it an extra point for trying so hard. Some parts were actually amusing and made us crack a smile. Specifically, the bicycle scene was quite funny ... it was like an ad hoc Jackass episode short.

The rest of the movie was garbage. I would avoid seeing it at all. One of the worst films to come from the likes of Spade. Not even an amazon.com link for this one. Let it just rot away.


August 27, 2003

AGE OF GRIEF
Posted by Michael at 04:58 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
The Secret Lives of Dentists

The actual title of the film is "The Secret Lives of Dentists"

This film utilized a few of the ideas and concepts that made Fight Club such an excellent film. Another film based on a novel, no less. Pick this movie up as a rental or maybe on digital broadband. It is worth the time, but probably not worthy of purchase as a DVD. I heard the actual novel, called "Age of Grief," was quite a good read.


August 22, 2003

FREDDY VS. JASON
Posted by Michael at 04:47 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Freddy vs. Jason

Let's throw two nightmare-type characters into one movie and see how much money it can make. That was the entire point of this film, without a doubt. It both looked and felt like it throughout the entirety of this stupid movie.

The director had said during a pre-release interview that the audience would see a clear and definitive winner to the movie. Not so. The film leaves you hanging, with the horrid smell of a sequel -- all probably dependant upon how well the film did at the box office. Corporate bastards.


OPEN RANGE
Posted by Michael at 04:42 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
Open Range

Alike most of Kevin Costner's recent flicks, this movie lacked in more ways than I can count. Plot was too basic and the whole film felt like it was done on a stage in some studio backlot. Characters felt fake.

Although, it wasn't the worst film I've seen as of late, so it was worth seeing. I won't go so as far to say it was worth the money spent to see it. And, hey, at least Costner didn't drink his own piss this time.

UPDATE: 09/15/03 This movie gained a point and is now scored as 3 out of 5. View comments for this review to find out why.


August 04, 2003

AMERICAN WEDDING
Posted by Michael at 05:41 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
American Wedding

Let's face it. Every American-Whatever movie that has been released after American Pie One and every one that will be released in the future ... is just about making more money. The first one was funny as hell, no doubt about that. The sequel and this one? Both are let downs.

Most people complained about how much Stifler used profanity in this film. I felt that was at least one saving grace about it. The only problem is, it wasn't actually funny because Stifler was written in to show how his character could change to become more caring and maybe be accepted by an actual 'nice' girl. Whatever. I won't link to this film, do yourself a favor and follow the Amazon link to the Unrated-Version of American Pie, the original.


August 01, 2003

S.W.A.T.
Posted by Michael at 05:05 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
S.W.A.T.

Unfortunately, I got major side-tracked and haven't been able to post this review about SWAT until now. Like three weeks later. Well, perhaps my perception of this film has diminished since I first viewed it in the theater. Perhaps not. Not really sure anymore. Amazon link is for the soundtrack.

The action was good. I ended up seeing this movie twice within two days. Not because it was a great movie, but because I went back to see it with Dan Shea. He missed out on the night we first saw it. The movie just didn't have that Counter-Strike feeling that was required, know what I mean?


July 26, 2003

SEABISCUIT
Posted by Michael at 11:17 PM | Comments (3) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
Seabiscuit

The movie version of Seabiscuit was definitely not what I was expecting. I had imagined a much more drab and somewhat slow storyline that would not hold my attention. I was wrong about that. The film did lag on a few aspects, mainly character development, in my opinion. Perhaps the problem was the time limitations posed by creating a movie out of a book, especially a true story. Taking that into account raises the score to 4/5.

The story of Seabiscuit is an amazing one and I am especially happy to have been introduced to it. Having never heard of Seabiscuit, the only time I had actually heard the name or anything about the existence of the story itself was from the fascination and appreciation of the book by Meg Hourihan (megnut.com) -- she even went so far as to ask visitors to hook her up with tickets to the film's premiere. A copy of the
Seabiscuit book
will appear in my bookshelf in short order.


JOHNNY ENGLISH
Posted by Michael at 10:55 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Worst) 1 out of 5 score.
Johnny English

Well, this film has at least one thing going for it. It just broke new ground! Announcing the very first review to attain the coveted 1 out of 5 rating. This movie was flat out horrible. Now, to be fair, there were a few amusing scenes --
Mr. Bean
(the amazon link leads to some of his hilarious work!) is a funny man, to be sure. The forced injection of a few doses of humor into this mortally wounded movie was just not enough to save it from being a complete waste of time to watch.

Entirely skipping this movie is advised, unless you are extremely bored or possibly intoxicated. Highly intoxicated. The worst part about seeing this film? In the same theater, just a few screens away, a special ALTERNATE version of 28 Days Later was playing with an entirely different ending. To think I forgot all about the alternate release tonight and end up blowing good money on this Johnny Trash garbage -- it hurts.


July 25, 2003

TOMB RAIDER 2
Posted by Michael at 11:33 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
Lara Croft - Tomb Raider 2

For a sequel to a game-based film series, Lara Croft pulled it off quite nicely. Never really got into the Tomb Raider video game series, each release felt very awkward in play design and puzzle layout. But, when you are talking film, it is an entirely different story. Angelina Jolie (Mmm.) plays a great, sexy, Lady Croft in both the first and second films.

Exciting? Yes. Plot? Kinda. All in all, it was a decent movie filled with a lot of action sequences and stunts all over the place. CGI graphics were used quite a bit near the end, which was alright. Scenes in which Lara would do something that felt completely moronic or not even being true to her character felt very unreal and even uncomfortable to watch. The amazon link leads to the first installment of the series: Tomb Raider.


July 18, 2003

BAD BOYS II
Posted by Michael at 09:40 PM | Comments (1) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Great) 4 out of 5 score.
Bad Boys II

Alright, this movie wasn't destined to hit a score of "Great" -- but, somehow, it pulled it off. Between the action, great use of very subtle CGI, and the same type of humor that made the first Bad Boys' movie fun, this film more than likely entertained everyone in the theater -- including us. It is your basic cop-movie with high speed chase and a lot of guns. It also throws a bit of guerilla warfare - "Tears of the Sun" flava - in there, too.

The film pic links to the soundtrack for the movie itself, which is probably filled with all your favorite Snoop Dogg and Fumbly rap songs. Even thought it was a fun film for the theater, this film is not destined for my personal DVD collection. My apologies to the Fresh Prince and Martin. Sorry homies.


July 11, 2003

LXG
Posted by Michael at 11:09 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Great) 4 out of 5 score.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was, really, well, um ... decent. We watched this film on the first night of release in the theater. I must say it is a rather good adaptation of a graphic novel / comic book done by Alan Moore. The amazon.com link for this movie review will lead you to Volume #1 of this comic series. Unlike movies like Daredevil and even X-Men, I felt this movie succeeded in being a film all its own -- not just a repeat & rinse of a comic title. You witness a lot of action and nice effects, throughout the film, as well. None of the scenes would painfully linger on and on, unlike another recent film!

The ending sort of smacked of an upcoming sequel. I hate that. Although, what comic-based film does not attempt to lead itself into a second release? Not sure if I'd pick up this movie on DVD (even if it is difficult to resist buying, since Peta Wilson is in it...). I personally added the comic itself to my amazon.com wish list. So that says something good about the movie.


July 09, 2003

POTC: CBP
Posted by Michael at 11:07 PM | Comments (1) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Does Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl strike you as a very long title for any movie? Let alone one from Disney. It should, if you are at least somewhat conscious of average movie titles. And, in addition, the length of this 2.5 hour film will leave you stunned as to why the creators of this story were allowed to create such a lame plot. The film could have been made much shorter by just changing a few little useless aspects to the story itself.

The only saving grace was the ever-eccentric acting skills of Johnny Depp. His horrible attitude as a pirate, swaggering style of movement (almost drunk-like), and good lines with some playful use of words, helped make the drawn-out film somewhat tolerable to watch in a theater.


July 01, 2003

TERMINATOR 3
Posted by Michael at 11:09 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
T:3

Most people have already decided that T3 is just "cashin' in" on the Terminator Series' fame. After seeing it at the sneak preview theater showing, I walked away thinking the movie producers really did attempt to make a new and interesting storyline for this film. There was definately a ton of action -- although some of it felt like it was recycled from the previous movies -- done with standards of this year instead of last.

No big ooh's and ahh's for this film... nothing like you get with Matrix and the like. A lot of scenes felt like a scene out of Grand Theft Auto; with cars crashing all over and police vehicles bumping into the main character's ride as he is attempting to escape with his cute girlfriend away from the bad robot lady. Soundtrack was weak.


June 28, 2003

28 DAYS LATER
Posted by Michael at 01:09 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
28 Days Later

This movie had great promise. And based on a premise that would definately keep my attention. But, in the end, it did not deliver what was expected. It felt like a re-make of Resident Evil. In fact, it could have passed as a sequel to that very series -- without much additional effort on the part of the movie creators.

The cinematics were top notch and the scenes had a nice, dark, overall feeling. Soldier and battle aspects brought back memories of a movie titled Dog Soldiers, which, in my opinion, was much more entertaining to watch. Possibly worth picking it up on DVD -- but only if was on discount. A big discount.


June 27, 2003

FULL THROTTLE
Posted by Michael at 01:00 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

The promotional trailer for this film set some high hopes for some great action sequences. Though, honestly, all of us wondered how they would fit so many different action sequences in one film. The question was answered after watching the full release at the theater.

Short, CGI-overdone, and very shallow action sequences that left you thinking "What the hell?" -- the Angels should have been killed about 10 times over during the course of the film. The movie had some good cameos, including Bruce Willis. That's about all there is to say. Not worthy of buying as a DVD.


June 20, 2003

HULK (2003)
Posted by Michael at 10:47 PM | Comments (3) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (O.K.) 3 out of 5 score.
The Incredible Hulk (1978)

This review is a fresh look from just seeing this flick in the theater. It definately failed to meet the initial excitement produced when a movie based on this franchise was announced. In fact, the film doesn't even live up to the promotional trailer. Let's just say that not one military helicopter (or any vehicle) was destroyed in an all-out-fashion. No exploding tanks. Not one person was killed -- except for maybe a guard that was attacked by the Hulk's eccentric father. The CGI for the actual Hulk was very good, although sometimes drawn to the point of unrealism when the Hulk would Sulk and be all upset. "Hulk so sad ... cry, cry, please hold me Jennifer Connelly!

Not recommended you waste your money on seeing this on the big screen. Not even worth adding to a DVD collection. Rent it. The link for Amazon will be for the DVD Release of the 1978 "The Incredible Hulk" -- which, from what it appears, might just be better than this film.



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