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Freaky Friday
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dickie Roberts
Freddy vs. Jason

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March 08, 2004

Posted by Michael at 10:42 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Cold Creek Manor

Pretty slow. Saw it quite awhile ago and found myself reading a synopsis soley to help me recall this sorry excuse for a movie. Sharon Stone spreading her legs wouldn't have done much for this movie, but it would have helped -- slightly.

There was some character development, but not much. Skip it.

Feel free to add your own review via comments.

Posted by Michael at 10:12 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Freaky Friday

This is when movie studios just recycle old plots with different characters in a new year for a different target generation. Pathetic. Thank god I didn't watch the whole film. Luckily no one paid for it, either. Avoid at all costs.

It doesn't deserve to be the lowest rank though, that is to be reserved for truely horrible films. Plus, Lindsay Lohan isn't that bad to look at. Only permissible during very short intervals when it comes to a film this bad, though.

March 07, 2004

Posted by Michael at 11:12 PM | Comments (1) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.

This film had a very limited release. Not suprised.

Seems to be a re-telling or based upon the events of Columbine. Be prepared to laugh at what the film-makers created to re-enact the two boys playing "shooting games" on their laptop. Most horrible graphics ever seen on a screen. How pathetic. Everyone knows you are supposed to be shooting people online in style -- Counter-Strike at the very least.

Posted by Michael at 11:04 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre

For some reason this film felt slow at certain points. It was pretty decent and Jessica Biel was fun. Nothing too special, though. Sometimes you should leave good enough alone.

Feel free to add your own review via comments.

September 05, 2003

Posted by Michael at 05:09 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Dickie Roberts: Former Childhood Star

I would rate this movie as one of the worst I've seen -- but I just had to give it an extra point for trying so hard. Some parts were actually amusing and made us crack a smile. Specifically, the bicycle scene was quite funny ... it was like an ad hoc Jackass episode short.

The rest of the movie was garbage. I would avoid seeing it at all. One of the worst films to come from the likes of Spade. Not even an amazon.com link for this one. Let it just rot away.

August 22, 2003

Posted by Michael at 04:47 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Freddy vs. Jason

Let's throw two nightmare-type characters into one movie and see how much money it can make. That was the entire point of this film, without a doubt. It both looked and felt like it throughout the entirety of this stupid movie.

The director had said during a pre-release interview that the audience would see a clear and definitive winner to the movie. Not so. The film leaves you hanging, with the horrid smell of a sequel -- all probably dependant upon how well the film did at the box office. Corporate bastards.

July 24, 2003

Posted by Michael at 09:05 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.

The movie sucked -- but it successfully held my attention for most of the 95 minutes. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it being filmed on a low budget or that the movie was created in Spain. The problem is, just because a film is based on space and Mars, it doesn't give anyone the right to make a poor quality movie. Supposedly the studio created the film with a budget under $4 million. But, come on... the audio dubbing wasn't even right.

The ending alludes to the same type of plot finale that many other films of this nature lead to. And it did -- boring. No original creative thought. On the other hand, I give the film credit when it comes to the cinematography... some of it was quite good and even entertaining. This movie might possibly deserve a 3 out of 5 rating... but only if the low budget factor is taken into account when making comparisons to other flicks. Avoid renting this DVD, wait until it is on HBO or Showtime. Here's hoping they are even willing to carry it.

July 20, 2003

Posted by Michael at 05:21 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Eight Legged Freaks

This movie was not the worst movie ever. I give it that much. It is actually bad to the point of being entertaining. Kari Wuhrer is rather cute, while running amuck with a shot gun. That's about it. I think I saw this horrible film on the same boring day I saw another horrible movie out of extreme boredom.

Don't even think about purchasing this movie. Unless you really want it, then please click the picture to purchase it from Amazon.com so I can at least make a little money from your foolishness. Thank you.

July 01, 2003

Posted by Michael at 11:09 PM | Comments (2) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.

Most people have already decided that T3 is just "cashin' in" on the Terminator Series' fame. After seeing it at the sneak preview theater showing, I walked away thinking the movie producers really did attempt to make a new and interesting storyline for this film. There was definately a ton of action -- although some of it felt like it was recycled from the previous movies -- done with standards of this year instead of last.

No big ooh's and ahh's for this film... nothing like you get with Matrix and the like. A lot of scenes felt like a scene out of Grand Theft Auto; with cars crashing all over and police vehicles bumping into the main character's ride as he is attempting to escape with his cute girlfriend away from the bad robot lady. Soundtrack was weak.

June 27, 2003

Posted by Michael at 01:00 PM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

The promotional trailer for this film set some high hopes for some great action sequences. Though, honestly, all of us wondered how they would fit so many different action sequences in one film. The question was answered after watching the full release at the theater.

Short, CGI-overdone, and very shallow action sequences that left you thinking "What the hell?" -- the Angels should have been killed about 10 times over during the course of the film. The movie had some good cameos, including Bruce Willis. That's about all there is to say. Not worthy of buying as a DVD.

June 25, 2003

Posted by Michael at 12:53 AM | Comments (0) | Entry Link
OUR RATING: (Sucks) 2 out of 5 score.
Punch Drunk Love

In reality, this movie didn't actually suck so much as it did just suffer from Adam Sandler being thrusted into the main role. The cinematography, interesting/random incidents (a la Adaptation), kept the movie amusing and provocative. Adam Sandler, on the other hand, caused me to wonder when the punch line or hilarious event was going to take place.

Perhaps it is nice for a movie to not typecast Sandler, but it was a mistake for this movie -- as almost any other serious actor would have probably done more. I also kept thinking of his character from Little Nicky, which, totally threw my concentration on the main character completely out the window. Actually, now that I think about it, quite a few of the actors cast in this film have me questioning whether or not the casting director even knew what the hell he/she was doing!

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